Toxic Relationships: Bringing It To the Spotlight
Have you ever seen a couple that are just absolutely terrible together? Have you ever seen a woman or a girl with a man and questioned to yourself why she can’t just leave the toxic relationship? Abuse doesn’t have to be physical, it can be emotional too. You don’t see it at first until you’re screaming at each other in public because they question your actions when you’ve never given them a reason to question you. You don’t see the monster that looms from deeper problems, that maybe other things made them question that you’re not going to be faithful or suddenly leave. You don’t see it until you watch what you say to them, so there isn’t another fight. You don’t see it until you stay up late at night wondering why love hurts so much, and asking why everyone else seems to love it. You wonder why love hurts, but it’s not love. When loving someone turns from giving to getting, it’s not love at all, it’s selfish. Their one-minute temper, to their next minute loving nature, it makes no sense.
Sometimes the other person fills your head with their lies, and after awhile you hear them more and more, and eventually you believe the lies too. They say some of the relationship problems are from you and you believe them. “Toxic relationships may negatively impact your mental health.” They break you down in every way leaving you wondering what YOU could do differently, not believing it’s their problems anymore. You now believe it’s you making the problems. People don’t mean to end up in toxic relationships, it just happens sometimes. But sometimes leaving those relationships are nearly impossible too. Something holds you back like an invisible hand. Here are 5 signs you’re in toxic relationship:
1). Control without knowing it.
They tell you who you “shouldn’t” talk to. Punishing you by making you feel bad about something that happened in the past. Telling you what to wear, and what not to wear, or what you can eat or cannot eat. It doesn’t have to be directly, but by guilt, and most times the other person doesn’t realize they’re doing it.
2). Jealous passive-aggressive behavior.
Jealousy is normal for the average human, but when jealousy controls who you talk to and who you see, it’s toxic. Checking their phone constantly to see who they talk to or text is not normal and it shows mistrust. Even when they push you away due to jealous feelings is still toxic.
3). Never taking ownership.
We all as humans have egos and we don’t always own up to our mistakes and that’s okay. But if he or she does something that really hurts your feelings but they never take ownership, and say I’m really sorry, the relationship doesn’t grow. It cycles and doesn’t grow. Loving someone doesn’t always mean comfort, you have to get through some uncomfortable things first.
4).Negativity for too long
We all have long days and long months, but when a partner is only focusing on negative anymore, it makes the other person feel bad. Instead of the endless cycle, the love, the hate, the fighting, the make up, the break up, and getting back together. The negativity is all that’s left, our own happiness is our responsibility, nobody else’s. It’s unfair to put our constant unhappiness on our partners. Over time it too turns relationships toxic.
5). Subtle Character Assassination
Calling another partner names can be joking but it can be taken other ways, It takes away from character. The f-bomb can be a high-five for some people and it can be so hurtful for another. Even if they say it doesn’t affect them, you never know and it could really hurt and potentially ruin the relationship.
If you see yourself in these categories, it is probably time to spot the issue and fix it. Everyone deserves love that feels good and is good for you. Love doesn’t break you down, love builds you up. If you know where you are in your relationship, good for you. Do what is good for you, you’ll be happier in the long run.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2018/05/03/research-shows-bad-relationships-can-also-mean-bad-health/#6a2fd7c71d5e